A Past Revealed
by MissDoctorDonna
Summary: Second Story in my Ezra's Twin AU. This is Jezabel telling our favourite seven exactly what happened to separate her from Ezra and what she's done as she fought to get back to him. Rated for adult themes of child abuse, murder and general violence - though not graphic. There will probably be some cussing at some point.


**Jezebel Maeve Standish, aka Belle Winchester, is mine but the rest are the property of some other lucky bas... people. I will treat them well and return them cleaned and shiny. Second story in my Ezra's Twin AU.**

The seven peacekeepers were gathered in Vin Tanner's room at the boarding house, having just discovered that one of their number had a long forgotten twin. Six of them now gazed in wonder at the face of their gambler, who leaned back against his reclaimed sister, looking happier and younger than they had ever seen him. An almost identical face was perched next to his as his sister, Jezabel, sat with her chin finding a resting place on his scarlet clad shoulder. Her arms were wrapped around him tightly as though she feared that he may be ripped from her arms if she loosened her hold. For his part, Ezra seemed quite content with his current position, his hands clasping his sister's arms firmly.

"Well, we're all here waitin' on some answers, so what was that nonsense about in the saloon? And be sure you're telling the truth, iffun that's even possible for a Standish," demanded Nathan roughly, showing his impatience with the southern woman and the situation in general.

"Nathan!"

Six voices chastised the healer, causing his indignation to grow.

"What? Y'all may buy that line about her being sold, but I don't and I want the truth. Their kind ain't sold," Nathan growled back at his friends.

Ezra's anger was tempered by puzzlement as he'd never known Nathan to be so rude to a woman. His voice was slightly bewildered as he added, "Jez only lies when she has to in order to protect someone else, usually me. Otherwise, she's scrupulously honest, Mr Jackson. It was often a source of fierce contention between her and Maude when we were young."

Twisting around in her arms, as Nathan's words registered in his spinning mind, Ezra grabbed the thick plait of hair that hung over his sister's shoulder and started twisting it around his hands nervously as he cried, "Jez! You were sold? When? To whom? By Uncle Seth? Did Mother know? Oh lord! Mother! We need to send her a telegram to let her know you're alive."

Leaning forward slightly to brush a kiss across her brother's forehead, Jez smiled fondly as she rubbed his back lightly to steady him and replied, "Calm down, darlin' boy. Stories are best started at the beginning. Maude will keep. It's been so long now, a few more hours won't matter. As for you, Mr Jackson, what I'm about to tell y'all is the absolute truth and if you cast any further aspersions on my character, you had best take a large breath beforehand because it will be your last."

She stopped and sent Nathan a look of such cold contempt that he was chilled down to his soul, feeling a sudden fear for his life such that he'd not felt since meeting the other six men. Speaking in a low menacing voice that sent thrills of danger down the spines of many of the men in the room, Jez growled, "I will tell y'all this story just the once. What I tell you will be the full truth and had better not be repeated to anyone else. Particularly that blonde inkslinger, who thinks she runs the town just because she's got connections and access to a printing press. I'm not ashamed of anything I've had to do to survive but that doesn't mean I want my life to be grist for this town's rumour mill. Understand?"

Chris' respect for the woman ratcheted up yet another notch as she faced down Nathan's fury and then went on to echo his attitude to his own past. The aura of danger she exuded was something he'd rarely felt from others, but what he imagined others felt when they braved his own wrath. Hiding a smile, he realised that he'd finally met the female version of Chris Larabee and damned if he didn't like her. Something of what he felt must have shown on his face for when Jez's cool gaze swept over those in the room, she smirked at him and gave a slight wink, causing his grin to show itself even as he blushed and hurriedly lowered his head.

Noting the interaction between his best friend and Ezra's sister, Vin's throat tightened with grief and an unaccustomed jealousy. He knew that a woman like Jez could take her pick of any man she chose and it was unlikely that she'd choose a scruffy, no-account, Texan drifter like him. But Ezra seemed to like him, so he'd kind of hoped that maybe his sister would too. Dropping his eyes to the floor, he swallowed hard to bite down the disappointment that threatened to overwhelm him.

A thoughtful frown creased Jez's forehead as she noted the way the tracker had huddled in on himself. Biting her lower lip, she made a mental note to speak to Vin alone as soon as possible. Knowing what she did about him, as well as seeing him interact with her brother and the others, meant that she'd developed quite a crush on the quiet man. She looked forward to finding out more about him and hopefully working her way towards a more intimate relationship with him. It had been a long time since she'd trusted someone with her heart, but she had a feeling that the man sitting across the room from her was worthy of her faith.

JD had been getting increasingly fidgety and finally burst out with, "I can't believe that Ez had a twin sister all this time. Where have you been? Why didn't you contact him sooner? How did you find him again? Did you really mean it that you were sold? Like an auction? Didn't you fight 'em?"

Grabbing his young friend, Buck pulled the boy to his chest with one arm and clapped the other hand over JD's mouth to muffle his endless flow of questions, grinning widely at the room in general and shrugging, as he said to the stunned Jez, "You'll have to excuse the kid, he just ain't got no patience is all."

Sighing loudly, Jez dropped her face onto her brother's shoulder, inhaling the comforting scent of his soap and cologne. She really didn't want to tell her brother, or his friends, about her life.

Concerned for his sister, Ezra leaned his head on hers and ran his hand up and down her arm. Whispering quietly, he asked, "Do you want me to tell them to go?"

"No. No, I'm alright," replied Jez, her voice muffled by Ezra's jacket. Her resolve firmed by the concern in her brother's voice, Jez shook her head before looking up and starting her story, "When we were children, Maude would dump us on whoever she could con into taking us as often as possible. I have no doubt that Maude loves us in her own way, but she isn't a natural born mother as you all know, which left her sadly lacking in maternal skills and inclination. If it was a choice between looking after two small children in poverty-stricken reliance on relatives, or living a life of glamour and champagne, obviously the glamourous lifestyle won. There was also the constant search for a wealthy husband, let's not forget that. Maude is nothing if not consistently greedy."

Ezra was resigned to his past being aired, but it still hurt to remember. He scrunched down so he could lean his head on Jez's shoulder, still winding her braid through his hands. Josiah watched him, marvelling at how alike the two siblings were and noting the substitution of the braid for Ezra's usual deck of cards. Or perhaps he'd substituted the cards for the braid when his sister was stolen from him. Either way, it was clearly something he did to comfort himself when uncomfortable. Josiah edged a little closer to the twins to lend his support, earning him a tiny smile from both of them.

"Sometimes it was friends, sometimes family, but mostly it was strangers," continued Jez, shifting automatically to accommodate her brother's new position. "Oddly enough, it was the strangers who made us the most welcome more often than not. But, by the time we were eight, we'd both had our fair share of beatings. A lot of the people we were left with had only enough for their own families so they starved us. Or we would have to pay for our keep by working from dawn until dusk. We'd been locked in cellars with the rats, or made to sleep in barns like animals. I swore that if I got the chance to grow up, then I'd buy myself a feather bed and stay in it for as long as I damn well pleased."

All eyes went to Ezra at this declaration, sudden understanding of their gambler's layabed tendencies and attachment to his down "pilla's" dawning. For his part, Ezra murmured a forlorn, "Me too."

Dropping a quick kiss on Ezra's head, Jez hurried on, "Maude never wanted to know what happened to us when we weren't with her. I would try to tell her, but the only outcome was that she would leave us with different people. She never returned us to people who had abused us. She did love us that much. But the worst person she left us with was her brother, Seth. Seth was much older than Maude, a confirmed batchelor who had inherited the family plantation in Georgia. It was run mostly by a couple of slave families, whilst Seth indulged his baser instincts, spending most of his time drunk or gambling. The worst vice he had though was his unnatural attraction to the young boys in the slave quarters. I tried to ply him with enough alcohol that he would pass out before he could make his way down there, but it didn't always work. Then he started to look at Ezra, with the same gleam in his eye and I knew I had to get us out of there."

A low snort of disbelief sounded from the corner Nathan was sitting in. When he looked up to find everyone glaring at him, he growled defensively, "What? Y'all heard her. She was willing to let the coloured boys suffer, but when it was her precious brother..."

"Yeah, we all heard her, Nathan. We heard her say how she'd get her uncle drunk and passed out to protect those boys. How many eight year old girls would think to do that? How many o' them would have the grit to do it?"

Glaring at Vin as the tracker once again defended his fellow southerners, Nathan almost missed Ezra's question.

"Is that where you'd get all the bruises from, 'Thena? Did Uncle beat you when he was drunk?"

A furious blush spread over Jezabel's pretty features as she avoided the eyes in the room.

Suddenly sitting up straight, Ezra pushed away from his sister as a long forgotten memory was recovered and viewed with adult eyes. Cupping Jez's face in his hands, he tilted her head to look in her eyes and asked softly, "Is that all he did? I remember waking up not long before the day of the fire and you were sitting beside me, crying. You told me that you'd had a nightmare, but your dress was all ripped..."

Tears welled up in her eyes and spilled to run down her cheeks, sliding between Ezra's fingers, as Jez slowly blinked. A tiny, sad smile pulled at her lips as she patted her brother's forearms comfortingly.

"Getting ahead of yourself, Apollo. But yes, I was more than beaten that night although not by Seth. He only liked boys, but he had low friends who liked little girls. That was the night I was sold. My buyer tested his merchandise, then arranged to collect me in a couple of days time," replied Jez.

Ezra stared at his sister for a few seconds, transfixed by the horror of what he was hearing. Then he pulled her into a fierce embrace, almost crushing her to his chest as he made a futile effort to protect her from what had already happened. Allowing herself a few moments of comfort, Jez sobbed silently into her brother's fancy waistcoat, clutching the back of his coat tightly.

The others exchanged glances, seeing a mix of fury and disgust for the animals in their friends' past, as well as shock and sympathy.

Vin had seen what white men did to the children in the Indian villages, so he had no trouble accepting the validity of the story told him, but it still made him furious to think of children being abused in anyway. Watching his friend and the woman he found so beguiling sobbing on the floor, he ached to do something to ease their pain, but his own past pain kept him glued to his spot.

Buck had grown up in a brothel, so was all too familiar with the sexual depravities of mankind, but his mother had always tried to shelter him from it personally. JD was in complete shock, since he'd never even thought of children in a sexual way, nor had he heard of anyone else doing so. Buck's arm tightened around his young friend, when he noticed him shiver and pale. Huddling into the warmth and protection unconsciously, JD focused on Ezra's hand as it swept over his sister's hair over and over again.

Chris' hand tightened on the handle of his gun as rage swept through him. Watching the twins huddle together on the floor, he couldn't help but curse Maude Standish for abandoning her children to the turpitude of strangers. If he had his time over, he would have never let his son or wife out of his sight.

Sitting cross-legged beside the twins, Josiah carefully gathered them both into a warm embrace. His deep, rich voice rolled over them in waves, drawing them into his arms. Ezra had been very vocal about rejecting Josiah's paternal attitude towards him, but deep down in a place he refused to acknowledge, he cherished the thought that Josiah would be proud to have him as a son. Neither of the twins had known a truly unselfish parental love, yet they both instinctively turned to Josiah and burrowed into his arms, seeking the comfort and protection he offered so freely. For his part, Josiah rejoiced in their acceptance and held them close, continuing to speak softly to them.

Nathan kept his face down, hiding his expression from the others, knowing that they wouldn't understand his reaction, barely understanding it himself. The girl seemed genuine and if it was true, then he could actually feel some sympathy for her. But things like that just didn't happen to the folks from the Masser's house. He stubbornly clung to the belief that it was only the coloured folk who had suffered at the cruel hands of those in power.

Lying against Josiah's broad chest, Jez calmed with the strong beat of his heart and the rumble of his voice. One of her hands remained locked in Ezra's jacket, but the other had come up to clutch at Josiah's lapel. Sniffling a little, she relaxed against the older man and pulled Ezra to her.

Ezra following willing, sharing his weight between his sister and his friend. Sighing almost silently, he whispered, "I'm so sorry, Jez."

Taking a deep breath, Jez gave a tremulous smile and picked up her story.

"One of the nights that I'd succeeded in getting Seth drunk enough to pass out, he'd told me of his plans for Ezra. I was desperate to get my brother out of harms way, but there was no point in the two of us running away. Seth owned the local law and the circuit judge was a friend of his, one of his fellow perverts. None of the slaves had ever successfully gotten away, although a couple of the young boys had tried. Lally found me crying in the kitchen and coaxed the story from me. She asked me if Maude would come back to get us, if she knew what Seth had planned. I thought that she might, but I had no way of contacting her from the house and we weren't allowed to go into town with Seth. Lally offered to have her daughter send a wire the next time she was in town for supplies. It was a huge risk on their part, but I knew I had to take her up on her offer. Seth had plans to make Ezra his next conquest and soon, so I had to do something. So I wrote out a message for Faith to take with her into town, warning her to try and get one of the local lads to take it into the telegraph office. I had a few coins and passed them on to her to pay for it."

Pausing to swallow thickly, Jez carded her fingers through Ezra's hair in an agitated manner, trying to soothe them both. Vin noticed that her voice was strained, so got up to pour a glass of water from the jug on the dresser and squatted beside her to offer it. His heart leaped at the grateful smile that lit Jez's face as she accepted the glass and sipped at it delicately before offering it to Ezra, who also took a few sips. Both murmured their thanks to the tracker, with Jez reaching out to lightly squeeze Vin's hand. Sinking down to sit on the floor, Vin settled to hear the rest of the story from a closer viewpoint, his hand gently holding onto his prize.

Watching the tracker examine her hand, Jez blushed a little, knowing that her hand was rough with the hard work it had seen over the years. She'd tried to keep them supple with sheep grease, but she still had more callouses and scars than she'd like, certainly more than her mother would deem suitable for a gentlewoman. Studying Vin's face, she saw no disgust or condemnation in his features, in fact he seemed rather content with the arrangement. A tiny tugging of her lips was the only indication of her pleasure as she once again picked up her story.

"Faith came back to say that she'd gotten one of the local boys to take the message into the telegram office and she'd watched from a window to see that the operator had sent it off. I was on tenterhooks for a week, waiting to be punished for my efforts. Seth had been getting more and more frustrated with my efforts to keep him from Ezra and the other boys, since I had to be more obvious about it. I'd taken to sending him on fools errands, lying to him about messages from neighbouring farms asking for his advice. Each time he'd return and whip me for my deception, but it was better that than having him around the boys."

Ezra stirred, shaking his head and whispering hoarsely, "I wasn't worth it. I wasn't. You shouldn't have taken the risk."

Hushing her brother, Jez continued, "Seth had decided to get rid of me before we found out that Maude was on her way. He had me serve cognac to him in his study, whilst he had his "good friend" visiting. He made me wear a pretty dress he'd told Lally to make and I went in unsuspecting. It wasn't until his friend had me in his greasy hands that I saw Seth locking the door with a leer on his face. I was then told that I belonged to Master Blackmore and to do exactly as I was told. My buyer then tested the merchandise, pinning me to the desk, as Seth watched. I will never to my dying day forget the look of pure malevolence on that man's evil face. Afterwards, he sent me back to my room, telling me to say goodbye as I'd be leaving the next day. I was in shock and couldn't tell you that I was leaving..."

Vin moved so that he held the slender hand in both his hands, as Jez started to shake violently. When he glanced at Ezra, he saw that his friend's cool demeanour had vanished and he was shaking too. But Ez was shaking with barely repressed rage. He shook his head when he managed to catch the gambler's eye, indicating that rage would not help the distraught woman between them. Josiah started rubbing Ezra's back, trying to calm the southerner.

Choking back a sob, Jez tightened her grip on Vin's hand, thankful for the anchor. Patting Ezra's leg, she went on, "The next morning I was woken by Lally. A telegram had arrived for Seth, which had thrown him into the most violent rage. Lally's face was bruised from where Seth had hit her for delivering the telegram, and she kept apologising as she hurried me into my old clothes and pushed me along the corridor. I wondered why she was apologising until I realised that Ezra hadn't stirred. The food that she'd smuggled into us had been drugged. She knew that I wouldn't eat any of it in the state I was in, and she'd been told to keep Ezra from interfering. I was dragged into the study where Seth was pacing like a wild animal. He raved about how he'd teach us all to respect him, stating that by the time his "dear sister" arrived it would be too late. He snarled at me that he was getting rid of me that very morning and that Ezra would be his by nightfall. I started to fight Lally's hold, trying to get out, to get back to you, Ez. But Ben came in and tied me up, carrying me out to the carriage where my new owner sat, smoking his noxious pipe. As we passed the slaves quarters, I could hear the screaming of the women and children. That was all I knew of the plantation and Seth until I returned trying to track you, Apollo."

Silence fell on the room as Jez's voice died out.

JD had tears running down his face and had turned into Buck's chest. Buck held his young brother tightly, rocking him gently as his own tears fell. Nathan had accepted the truth of the story and his heart hurt for the tragedy that had befallen everyone in the clutches of the Standish's evil uncle. He leaned forward with his elbows on his knees, holding his head in his hands as he cursed his own attitude towards the traumatised girl in the room with them. Chris had sunk to the floor, with his knees up to his chest, hugging them.

Looking around at the men in the room, the slender southern woman was shocked at how affected they were by her story. Swallowing hard, she reflected on how lucky she and Ezra were to have made the acquaintance of so many compassionate people. Staring at Nathan, she was startled to see the tears and apology in his eyes. Nodding in acceptance, she tried to decide where to go on from. Feeling exhausted herself, she could only imagine how her brother felt.

Making up her mind, she announced, "I'll finish up with what I found out when I returned to the plantation after the war. Then I think it would be best for me and Ez to get some rest. We've got a long time to go over the rest of my life story, since I'm not leaving without Ez and he's settled here for the foreseeable future."

Seeing nods of agreement and feeling Ezra push himself up into a more alert posture, she told them, "I found the plantation in ruins. The slaves quarters were still intact though, with a handful of the older people left living there. Lally was still there and she's the one who told me what all had happened after I was taken. You know that Seth killed and burned a girl... well, that girl was Faith, Lally's daughter who'd taken the chance to help us. Seth had killed her as punishment for going against him. Lally had been allowed to take the body afterwards and had buried her in the slave's cemetary, which was the reason why she refused to leave the plantation. Four of her babies and her husband were all buried there and she told me that she wouldn't leave them for all the gold in the world. I tried to get her to let me set her up more comfortably, in thanks for the sacrifices she made me and Ez, but she refused. Lally told me that Maude had arrived two days after I'd been taken and Ez had been whipped so badly. She took one look at poor Ez in his fevered state and stormed up to the big house to confront her brother. Lally had told Maude all about the schemes and plans that Seth had made. As Lally said, 'Lord chile, you shoulda seen your Momma's face when I tole her 'bout his devilry.' Apparently, Maude was incensed at the damage done to her baby boy and the fact that her daughter had been stolen from her without so much as a by your leave."

Ezra chuckled at this point and remarked drily, "I'd love to have seen her in action. Mother is quite magnificent when moved to anger."

A few quiet chortles and murmurs were heard around the room as their friends agreed.

"Yes, well. According to Lally, who had run after Maude pleading with her not to anger Seth further, Maude glowed with righteous anger. Striding through the house, she finally found her brother in his study. An almighty fight broke out with each of them screaming abuse at the other, culminating with Maude pulling her derringer out of her reticule and shooting Seth in the ... well, someplace quite sensitive," hedged Jez, picturing the scene with satisfaction, even as the men around her winced. "It took the old bastard two weeks of utter agony to succumb to his wound. During that time, Maude had taken you Ez and tried to track me down. She'd taken Lally's last surviving daughter too, in order to help her care for you. By the time she realised that she'd lost the trail for me, you'd recovered a little and she realised that you'd repressed all memory of the whipping and me. Being Maude, she decided that it was for the best and just got on with her life, encouraging you to do the same. She sent Chastity back to Lally and took you to Aunt Dixie's.

"But... why couldn't she find you?"

Smiling sadly at JD, Jez answered him in a voice dulled by the emotional pain of her memories and the exhaustion of recounting them. "My new owner had left the country. He had business on the continent, so we'd made our way to New York and set sail for Ireland."

JD's jaw dropped as he exclaimed, "Ireland! Gosh!"


End file.
